New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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