We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
