8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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