Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
