I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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