Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
