i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
What a dumb baby whore.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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