this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
