Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the day after is always just damage control
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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