i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
