okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
