and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
