white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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