so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
