We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
