I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
