i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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