my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
