turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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