OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
