Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
