I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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