He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just pee around me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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