Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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