i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
