Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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