there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
