im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
