oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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