If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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