plz talk dirty to me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
