I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
A+ Viking dick
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
