Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize