There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
