some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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