Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Randomize
