Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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