Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
