My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
