shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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