i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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