New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
