I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
farters have to be the big spoon...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
