that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
