how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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