So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
