Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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