You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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