whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
