Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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