"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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